The One Who Got Away

So, how does it feel to be the one who got away?
No, not you, me!
Me: Well, it feels pretty darn amazing.

You were almost the one who got away,
I didn’t stop you, I didn’t make you stay,
You leaving made forth my way,
Now, I don’t have to say you were the one who got away.
I was.

I’d never change a second.
In another life, I’d do it this way.
And I was the one who got away.

Love,
Bee

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HE ATTACKED


He attacked
He thought he could steal me
He thought he could rob me
Of all God made me to be

He attacked
He plotted from the start
He thought he could rot me
And bury my heart

He attacked
He crumpled my life
He thought he could win me
By leaving me strife

He attacked
He beset my mind
He thought he tempt me
And drag me behind

He attacked
He made me believe I was nothing
He thought he could keep me
From becoming something

He attacked
He poisoned my goals
He thought he could purge me
Of the love in my soul

He attacked
He devoured my power
He separated me from peace
In his blistering fatal showers

He attacked
He pushed me down deep
He thought he could crush me
In an undying weep

He attacked
He infected my soul
He thought he could kill me
And take me below

He attacked
He pierced me with swords
He thought he could damage
My praise for my Lord

He attacked
He tightened my noose
He thought he’d convinced me
I had nothing to lose

He attacked
He whispered to stray
He thought he could lead me
Away from God’s way

Through all my battles
And every ounce of pain
Pressing past the point
That drove me insane
Yearning for peace
And begging for grace
God’s love gave me mercy
And showed me my place
By His side during every new day
And forever and ever in His love
I shall stay.

He attacked.
He lost.
Jesus won.


MARCH 23, 2008

YOU.

You. Yes, you. I am writing this for you.

I know you will never read this. I won’t ever send it. But I want you to know I am writing this for you. No one else will understand. No one else knows. They think that this is for them. But it’s not. I am writing this for you.

I want you to know, life…it’s hard. Every day can be a challenge. It can be a challenge to get up in the morning. To get yourself out of bed. To put on that smile. But I want you to know, that smile is what will keep you going some days. You need to remember, even through the tough times, you are amazing. You really are.

You should be happy. I hope you are.

I know that the weather might not be perfect. You might have to turn your back to the wind. But you know what, at least you are there to feel it. At least you can enjoy the sun’s warm rays on your face. Or that cold winter wind biting at your cheeks. You know what that means?

You are alive.

Everything will be okay.

Goodbye

You said you’d love me forever,
But now you’ve left and gone,
And still I sit and wonder,
Where it all went wrong.

God will never leave me,
His love is perfect and true,
He is mighty in my weakness,
And He makes my life brand new.

Letting go is hard,
but when the sadness clears,
there will be no reason,
to shed another tear.

God is my solid rock,
my Comfort in this storm,
He catches all my tears,
and mends a heart that’s torn.

I know it won’t be easy,
and I’ll miss you every second,
but everything in life,
comes with a special lesson.

God will direct my path,
and He will restore my heart,
His goodness fills my life with hope,
and He gives me the strength to restart.

When I love, I deeply love.
When I commit, I truly commit.
I work hard in everything I do,
and I gave my best to you.

If you cared so deeply, as you said you did,
I’ll never understand how,
you left the way you left,
and how you are where you are now.

I wish you could see the way you left me,
I wish you knew what you did to my soul,
when you walked away that day,
and left an insurmountable hole.

You ripped from me all my joy,
You slaughtered my trust and love,
You crushed my faith in humanity,
But my eyes were directed to Him above.

You took from me everything I knew,
The feeling of worthlessness is indescribable,
The pain burned for months,
But God helped me grieve and soothed my soul.

God is welcomed into my wounds,
He’s the only one I trust,
He fills all the empty spaces,
And mends my heart’s deep bruise.

God alone is love,
He’s the only love I believe in,
but I have faith He’ll help me along,
when it’s time to believe again.

I still have a lot of questions,
and I’ll always wonder why,
but now all I can do is say,
I love you and goodbye.

Goodbye.

February 5, 2008 – September 11, 2010

Let go.

I’ve been a thousand miles down a dead-end road,

deep professions of love (lies), and I was sold,

I’ve spent a thousand days building and life for nothing,

perhaps this farewell will turn into a blessing.

I have nothing to lose,

I’ve already lost everything I ever knew,

the anger stings and the memories bruise,

I don’t even know anymore who are or who you were.

You are becoming a shadow in my mind,

Your footprints are engraved on my heart,

but no, I wouldn’t dare rewind,

I now have a chance to rebuild and restart.

You were a disappointment,

Your love was not real,

You left a hundred promises broken and undone,

You definitely weren’t the one.

Someday, when I look back at this season of my life,
The agony,
the sorrow and pain,
the emptiness,
the brokenness,
the betrayal,
I will be thankful for how strong of a person it made me.

You gave me one of the best things I’ve ever received, a second chance at life.

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.

Empty words.

I remember those memories.
The dreams,
The promises.
Metaphors for love’s journey,
Were all I could see.

You’re missing,
You’re gone,
You’re so far away.
The light’s out,
I’m blinded,
and I can’t find the way.
In the darkness,
Silence stings,
No whispers to be heard,
All I can hear are the echoes,
Of your empty words.

Now look where I am,
Look at what we could be.
Those whispers,
Everything written,
Were simply empty words,

Your professions of love,
Saturated my skin,
Were described by my smiles,
And illuminated in my eyes,
Your disappearing trust,
Accompanied bruising lies.

You’re missing,
You’re gone,
You’re so far away.
The light’s out,
I’m blinded,
I can’t find the way.
In the darkness,
Silence stings,
No whispers to be heard,
All I can hear are the echoes,
Of your empty words.

In the darkness,
Silence stings,
No whispers to be heard,
All I can hear are the echoes,
Of your empty words.

All I can hear are the echoes,
Of your empty words.

All I can hear are the echoes,
Of your empty words.

Your words are as silent as an empty room,
Your heart is as empty as your words.